An unpublished letter to the editor on gay marriage - November 2004

A few years ago, shortly after a disappointing election, my partner and I were having coffee and reading in a local coffee house on a lazy Sunday morning when a group of self-satisfied older people began speak loudly about the beating that we gays had taken in the election and why we so richly deserved it. One man in particular took the lead at driving us down the road to hell. After about ten minutes of being berated, Isaiah and I packed up and got ready to leave. I walked over to the group and gave them a piece of my mind. I was angry the rest of the day.

I wrote a letter to the editor of the Minneapolis Star Tribune which, of course, did not print it.

The Fourth of July seemed like the right day to post this letter.

The Saturday after the election, I was spending the morning in my favorite coffee place, doing some work and enjoying the company of a friend, when I overheard a man speak at length in celebration of the slap in the face that the electorate has given to gays.  I might have been listening to a group of Nazis gloating over the confiscation of the belongings, lives, and dreams of their favorite scapegoats.  When I'd heard my fill, I walked over, civilly stated my opinion of their views, and left.  Next time, I'll speak my mind and stay. 

This is addressed to those of you who try to use the government as a club to force your views down other's throats, as a threat to take other's property, and to punish nonconformity.  You are a large majority in nearly all of the political parties. 

If you crave labels, I'm a gay, libertarian, evolution embracing, literate, atheistic, and thoughtful scientist.  I'm in a minority - often, it seems, a minority of one.  Among of the few legitimate functions of government is the protection of minorities from majorities.  You are responsible for the abuse and failure of the government in this regard. 

If I wish to marry, I shall marry.  Are you afraid that I will do a better job at building and nurturing a family than you?  The odds are in my favor.  You will take your petty revenge for my acting against your wishes, but you will be at most a nuisance, akin to a tapeworm.  You intrude in my life without permission or cause, and at some risk. 

Do not speak to me of moral values - you understand little and practice less.  You yearn for power, not the good.  You have nothing to teach me about morality. 

If you wish to accomplish something, learn to persuade rather than coerce, and spend your own money rather than mine.  Don't try to persuade me, however - my life is too short and too sweet to waste any more of it on you.  You have a right to speak but no right to be heard.  Keep your superstitions to yourself.  Attend to your own life and leave me to mine.

May your hatred, fear, and twisted need to control be buried with you.

Craig S. Holman, Ph.D.

November 14, 2004

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