You mean you can actually spend $70,000 at Woolworth's?
      Bob Krasno, after seeing Ike and Tina Turner's house

Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind.
      Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Any preoccupation with ideas of what is right and wrong in conduct shows an arrested intellectual development.
      Oscar Wilde

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what a water-bath is to the body.
      Oliver Wendell Holmes

Let no one underestimate the need of pity. We live in a stony universe whose hard, brilliant forces rage fiercely.
      Theodore Dreiser

I grew up to have my father's looks, my father's speech patterns, my father's posture, my father's opinions, and my mother's contempt for my father.
      Jules Feiffer

Abstainer; n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
      Ambrose Bierce

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
      Oscar Wilde

My choice early in life was either to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.
      Harry S. Truman

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity.
      Douglas MacArthur

Delay is the deadliest form of denial.
      C. Northcote Parkinson

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.

I want death to find me planting my cabbages.
      Michel de Montaigne

He who hesitates is a damned fool.
      Mae West

Lots of times you have to pretend to join a parade in which you're not really interested in order to get where you're going.
      George Morley

I was told that the Chinese said they would bury me by the Western Lake and build a shrine to my memory. I have some slight regret that this did not happen, as I might have become a god, which would have been very chic for an atheist.
      Bertrand Russell

Be daring, be different, be impractical; be anything that will assert integritiy of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.
      Cecil Beaton

It's a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young, just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
      Mark Twain

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it - even if I have said it - unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
      Buddha

He only is a great man who can neglect the applause of the multitude and enjoy himself independent of its favor.
      Joseph Addison

Satisfaction will come to those who please themselves.
      Arnold Lobel

The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists soley in moving towards self-sufficiency.
      Quentin Crisp

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
      Earl Wilson

The common idea that success spoils people by making them vain, egotistic, and self complacent is erroneous - on the contrary it makes them, for the most part, humble, tolerant and kind. Failure makes people bitter and cruel.
      W. Somerset Maugham

I'm saving the bass player for Omaha.
      Janis Joplin

These quotes were loving lifted from several of the books by the late great Peter McWilliams. All of his books are available online for free at http://www.mcwilliams.com/.